October is here, and this means you’ve successfully gone one month without being confronted by the worst part of coming back to campus. No, not the cold weather. I mean the politics of greeting somebody that you used to know. This could be someone who lived in your freshman hall, someone you took a class (that you dropped) with, or someone who you matched with on Tinder but never texted (and you both know it). But alas, you finally encounter this fairly distant acquaintance who you haven’t exchanged words with since last semester, standing unassumingly behind you in the Blue Room sandwich line. Your luck has finally run its course and averting your eyes will not save you from the conversation that will inevitably follow:
Oh, hey! Wow, I can’t believe it’s been so long since we saw each other. How are you? Me too, I’ve been good too… a lot of work to do… Ha Ha Ha.
(I sense an urgency to talk about work, as I suspect the only thing we have in common at this school is that we go to school)
No like… coming back to school after not working my brain at all during the summer really… does something to me.
(Stolen from the same exact conversation I had with someone else last week because it seemed to be a hit with my audience last time)
How was your summer? Research! Wow that’s so cool. What kind of research did you do? I didn’t really understand anything you just described but that still sounds great. No yeah, my summer was good, it was a lot of family time, hanging out with friends, you know. Yeah.
(Personally, I like to keep it short and sweet so the opposing party doesn’t feel obligated to ask follow up questions)
The thing about the freshmen and that Target trip? Yeahhhhh I know. I can’t believe the school did that. I know right?? We didn’t get any of that, I can’t believe it.
(I try my best to sound like I can’t believe it when, in fact, I can indeed believe it)
They really show up like they own the place. And there are so many of them too.
(From talking to enough people, I understand that this is the consensus about freshmen so I too, will fall in line)
What classes are you taking? Wow, KPOP, JPOP, and CPOP, Oh My? Oh really, I was thinking about shopping that one too, but then it didn’t fit into my schedule.
(No, it was more like participation was a whole 20% of the grade and speaking in class is atrociously terrifying)
But I heard the professor’s really good.
(Or more like, the kids love it when he swears in class)
Nice, nice…
(A little bit of looking around, some nodding to show the other party that Yes I Acknowledge You And I Heard Everything You Said)
Yeah…
(Disclaimer, an absolutely fictitious statement)
Hey, I actually have to run now, but it was good to talk to you!