Have you ever used the women’s restroom on the first floor of Faunce? If your answer is ‘yes,’ then you’ve no doubt navigated the mysterious labyrinth of stalls and dark corners, felt the pulsing atmosphere, and questioned HOW exactly a space so rife with industrialist hedonism is actually a campus center restroom, and not among Berlin’s most exclusive nightclubs. Well, in exactly two weeks, it will become both.
That’s right! In an effort to create a more fun and welcoming environment on campus, UCS has masterminded “Bear-ghain”: an immersive club experience for the debaucherous among our student body.
Students will be encouraged to practice all manner of sin within the four walls of one of Brown’s most incredible restrooms. The most self-important of Brown’s student DJs will take a night off from fund-rager gigs to curate an unforgettable techno soundtrack. The absurdly short stalls will be put to good use as sex rooms to enable voyeurism, and intense smells of excrement will perfume the whole night. The highly discerning bouncer’s identity is still under wraps, but rumors are already swirling—Dean Xia? Your sadistic Stats professor? Either way, there’s a good chance you’ll be rejected at the door, so be prepared.
The best part? The club will run from Saturday night all the way through to Monday morning. While losers upstairs are using their points on Blue Room muffins, you’ll still be dancing.
See you in line!