This summer, I worked as a camp counselor. I spent my days the way most of you spent your days, I imagine: reattaching Lego arms, shaping the young minds of America, and thinking about feminism. It was tempting to throw in the Feminism Towel in exchange for a beach towel, but I knew that would be impossible when I arrived at camp and quickly noticed the differences between the shirts typically worn by female campers and those worn by male campers.
The first time I noticed this, I compared the message of a ten-year-old boy’s shirt with that of a ten-year-old girl’s. In bold letters, his shirt declared “PLAY TO WIN,” while her shirt featured the unobtrusive phrase “#behappy.” In one corner: Aggressive! Straight-forward! Uncompromising! In the other: A hashtag! Everything’s chill! Really more of a suggestion than a challenge!
Throughout the summer, I continued to notice the contrast in content on shirts marketed to boys vs. shirts marketed to girls. I have now brought the comparison to you.
On your left, from the “Boys” section of a clothing website: “WITNESS MY AWESOME.” On your right, from the “Girls” section: “Kind as a kitten.” The “boy’s” shirt unapologetically calls for attention. It is the shirt equivalent of screaming while pounding on your chest like King Kong. It would probably be worn by the type of guy who can’t resist imitating the humming chant from The Wolf of Wall Street.
The “girl’s” shirt is demure. This kitten has its eyes closed and is clearly very chill. Forget competition – this shirt prioritizes kindness over all else. It’s not as in your face. It also operates on the strange assumption that kittens are kind. I’ve met some kittens who were real assholes, though, so I’d like to see their sources.
Check out this gem: “Maybe you should practice!” The implication here is that the boy who wears this shirt is a) playing a game, b) playing a game better than his opponent, and c) offering condescending advice to the losing opponent. It is a phrase that would almost certainly start a fight if uttered aloud, but is for some reason tolerated because it is written on a Nike shirt.
On your right: Wordplay. This is a tater tot who does not care about opponents. She easily brushes off her haters with a lighthearted “Taters gonna tate!” So silly! She isn’t trying to start a fight, and even if she were, she would lose because she’s double-fisting what appears to be cotton candy.
First of all, “REFUSE TO LOSE” is not a good strategy. You can “refuse to lose” all ya want, but when you miss that final free throw, refusal time is over. This is a fun one because it reinforces the idea that boys cannot be rejected or take “no” for an answer. Once again, we see the charming return of capital letters bold enough to penetrate even the thickest of skulls.
If you’ll direct your attention to the shirt on the right, you’ll see the quirky phrase “CATch-ya later,” which really reinforces the cat and wordplay themes for “girl” shirts. Beautiful, no? This cat would never risk one of its nine lives just to “win.” It has places to be!
Apparently there is literally no way for a “boy’s” athletic shirt to forego all caps. God forbid we use lowercase letters, folks! This shirt is for tough guys. In case anyone forgot, boys fight! Boys hit hard! Who are they hitting hard? Doesn’t matter! Boys!!
Let’s contrast that with “daddy’s under my spell.” There will be no hitting for this little lady! She is a lover, not a fighter. She may or may not practice witchcraft, we’re not sure, but we’re definitely not concerned about it because, boy is it cute that she loves her dad!! P.S. No capital letters here.
Of course, this is not a representation of all shirts made for children. Some shirts in the “Girls” section even feature empowering messages, such as “IN MY OWN LEAGUE.” Still, it’d be nice to switch things up every once in a while. If they could make a “boy’s” shirt that reads “I cried at Finding Dory” (with capitalization only where grammatically appropriate), that would be fantastic. Perhaps we could have a “girl’s” shirt saying “STOP TELLING ME THAT I’M ‘ACTUALLY’ GOOD AT BASKETBALL. I’M JUST GOOD AT BASKETBALL. PUBERTY HAS BLESSED ME WITH THE ABILITY TO DUNK BEFORE ANY OF THE BOYS IN MY CLASS, SO CHECK YOURSELF.” Some would say I’m being overly critical, but hey, taters gonna tate.