I love Halloween. It is hands down one of the best holidays of the year. The free candy. The pumpkins. The parties. But if there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s the costumes. But before you all reprimand me, let me explain myself. I have no problem with the actual costumes themselves, but the process of getting them. The thing is I’m not a very creative person when it comes to Halloween. I hardly ever come up with a decent costume idea and on the rare occasions when I do, I never have the energy to actually carry it out. I don’t have the time or effort to actually make my own costume, and I’m stingy enough that I refuse to buy one instead. Tragic.
Not all hope is lost. There are costumes out there that even the laziest individual can pull off. Trust me. This is for all you people who struggle to come up with creative costume ideas that require little to no effort and money. Sure, you probably won’t win the title of “Best Costume of the Night” but it might be just good enough for you to get that $3 burrito at Chipotle. Do it for the Boorito.
A First-Year
Dressing up as a first-year is simple enough. All you have to do is carry a lanyard containing your ID and your key around your neck at all times. You can make this costume even more authentic by borrowing (or stealing) one of the Brown #Skyphoto19 T-shirts and carrying around a campus map. Try to look confused and lost to pull off the complete look. Be sure to go around begging your friends to go to Josiah’s to get a spicy chicken sandwich with cheese.
Campus Tour Guide
The best part about dressing up as a campus tour guide is that you get to wear your regular, everyday clothes! For the rest of the night you have to walk backwards and shout random facts about all the buildings you pass by. Also your “facts” don’t even have to be true. I was once told on a tour at Brown that each of the 14 floors of the SciLi represents a different color of the pH scale. Sounds fake, but ok. In actuality, every floor is a beautiful shade of cold concrete.
Pajama Princess/Prince
Just roll out of bed and you’re ready to go. Throw on a bathrobe for good measure, considering it will most likely be a typical freezing Halloween. Thanks Northeast. Don’t even bother to brush your hair. And while you’re at it, don’t brush your teeth either. The morning breath will keep your costume truly authentic.
Hello _____! I’m Dad!
Piss off your friends the entire weekend with this simple yet effective costume. Wear a typical “Dad” outfit with a nametag that says: “Hello _____! I’m Dad!” The most important part of this costume is the speech pattern. Be sure to get it right.
Friend: I’m drunk.
You: Hello drunk! I’m Dad!
Friend: I’m cold.
You: Hello cold! I’m Dad!
Friend: I’m tired.
You: Hello tired! I’m Dad!
This will guarantee your friends will stop talking to you by the end of the night. Complete this look by carrying around a “#1 Dad” mug filled with your beverage of choice.
Another college student
Make use out of those old college T-shirts you got from touring other campuses before you made the right decision and came to Brown. Instead of being severely judged for wearing another college’s shirt on a normal day, use it as a costume for Halloween. For example, I went to a party at Cornell this past weekend wearing my gray Brown University sweater. I successfully convinced someone that I was indeed a Cornell student dressed up as a Brown student for Halloween. See people! It works.
Your Soul
Wear all black. Simple as that.
Looking for more in The Rib’s costume department? Check out these if you’re looking to seduce a cutie this Halloween, these if you’re looking to REALLY scare, and these if you and your honey want to be totally in sync.
Image via.
haha, definitely relate.