We are at a point in the technological era in which any kind of social media affects virtually (haha, virtual get it?) every area of your life – especially your romantic life. When I say “any kind of social media”, I really do mean any kind. Whether it’s sexual tension on a Google Doc, dating profiles on Match.com, or sending someone eggplant emojis on Venmo, modern relationships –and not just romantic ones – can begin on any sort of digital platform. You can connect with anyone, anywhere, about anything. Connections are what people are after, even more so in a potential partner. In that vein, I have really been thinking about my own romantic connections lately. LinkedIn connections, that is.
Seriously.
LinkedIn is the new way to find love. You know what they say; LinkedIn is just Tinder’s older college-graduate-aged sibling. Wait, they don’t say that? Well, they should. Here’s why.
First, there’s the profile. On any kind of profile, people are putting their Best Self out there. But on LinkedIn, you’re not only showing how hot you look (dressed in business casual), you’re also showing that you are both smart and responsible. Reading someone’s CV is such a turn on. You study Political Science at Brown? Goodbye, underwear. You interned with Elizabeth Warren? Marry me. You’re going to India for Doctors Without Borders? I can give long distance a try. The point is, you’ve impressed me, and I want to connect with you. And this is how it starts—the tension, the game. It begins with a highly dreaded exciting e-mail: “Skyler Smith wants to connect with you on LinkedIn.”
Is LinkedIn even aware of the power of this phrase? Are you aware of it? There’s so much going on here! There’s the surprise that someone actively wants you (in their network). There’s the knowledge that they were probably blown away by your classy display pic, which is your most prized digital possession, and a photo that took way too long to choose. And then there’s the idea that maybe; just maybe, they’re the ones that looked at your profile in private mode.
That’s got to be the sexiest part– knowing that anyone on the Internet can see what a boss-ass bitch you are, desire you as a connection, and then pursue you. They make a move. They ask you to connect. None of that wishy-washy, should we hang out stuff. And if you’re like me, and don’t actually use LinkedIn or even know how to “connect” with anyone, you begin to accidentally play hard to get. You are then annoyingly reminded that people want you (!!!) every damn week. “Skyler wants to connect with you!” “Please connect with me on LinkedIn.” “Skyler is waiting for you on LinkedIn!”
God, Skyler. You’re so needy. And I see on your profile you can get me an internship? That’s actually really hot. Text me.
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