I like to think of myself as a financially rational human being. In the future, I envision living in an average-sized home, nothing too showy or expensive. Material things aren’t as important as relationships with friends and family… right? Unfortunately, the older I get, the more I realize that I’m a total hypocrite. This was really solidified after I downloaded Zillow, a real estate app.
It all started as an innocent attempt to visualize life on the West Coast. I hate how cold New England is, and I dream about living in a place where it’s sunny all the time. I was curious about what kind of houses people had in California, and after thoughtfully googling “California houses,” I discovered an app called Zillow. This app allows you to search for homes and apartments to buy, sell, or rent in the US. When I started using it, I was just browsing out of curiosity. Slowly but surely, I began using more and more filters to define my searches.
First, I used geographic filters. I didn’t want a house too close to a big city, but also not so far away that I wouldn’t be able to have the occasional night out on the town with my gals and/or my hot California boyfriend. This ruled out homes in central and northern California. I also know that if I’m living on the West Coast, my house has to have an ocean view, or else there’s no point. My search became refined to the SoCal coast. (Did you see how I used “SoCal” there? Isn’t that like, so SoCal? Can’t wait to wear all my Hollister gear and reenact episodes of The O.C.!)
The second filter I altered was the price range. My price bracket began in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, about as much as an average home costs. And then I figured, eh, why not a couple million? Heck, might as well look at the hundred million dollar houses while I’m at it. The $5 million homes quickly started to look like shacks compared to anything over $10 million. Thus, anything under $5 million was automatically ruled out.
I then thought about what specific features I wanted my house to have. I added search terms like “home gym,” “hot tub,” and “game room.” I watched video tours to determine whether or not the infinity pool was big enough for my needs. I even made a Zillow account so I could save houses to my profile and track their statuses with email notifications that would automatically mark themselves as ‘important.’
I would receive emails alerting me of recommended results, price drops, and pending sales. The emails would send me into a frenzy – I had to immediately re-evaluate my future living situation. What do you MEAN my $23.5 million 7500 square foot home with 4 beds and 4.5 baths and panoramic ocean views in Laguna Beach is being considered by three potential buyers??? Let me contact one of the four real estate agents listed on this property–
Wait.
What am I doing?
I am not a serious potential buyer.
I do not have millions of dollars to throw at a California beach mansion.
[Deep breath]
They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Zillow drew me in with its lavish homes and user-friendly interface. Today, I write this as a recovering Zillow addict. I only hope that my story will help save other Zillow addicts. Friends, don’t live your life through an app.
Images via Sam Crausman.