I need it every day. I crave it every day. I get my fix every day. It is something I cannot live without. Since day one of being a true Brunonian, I’ve been hooked. It clouds my mind, influences my decisions, and gives me a sense of euphoria I have never experienced before. I am completely and utterly dependent on it to keep me going.
What is this drug of choice you may ask? Isn’t it obvious? It’s Morning Mail.
At this point, it’s become a habit. I look forward to my dose of Morning Mail every day at exactly 1 am. Some days I will lay in my bed wide awake until I can finally get my fix. On the rare days when I manage to fall asleep before the scheduled delivery, I make sure to satisfy my craving as soon as I wake up.
During particularly good days, the high will last for a while. I cheerfully scroll through the long list of announcements and events on my phone, keeping my eye out for the words “free” and “food”. When I find something that catches my interest, I get a rush from hitting the button that adds the event to my already cluttered calendar. On the days when Morning Mail is short and sweet, I am often left craving for more.
I pity those who never get to experience the joy of Morning Mail. It makes me sad thinking about all those abandoned, unread emails clogging up someone’s inbox. What a waste. If only those people decided to try it one day. They would finally understand how addictive Morning Mail really is. You can never go back after you start reading.
I admit it. I have a serious addiction to Morning Mail. It’s a major problem that I need to address. But at least it’s not meth.
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