Multitasking is In, Especially on the Toilet
Everybody poops. Sometimes it’s a speedy ordeal. But other times, the process can be lengthy and we find ourselves bored and daydreaming. I’ll let you in on...
We’re All Going to Die
I am a hypochondriac. I analyze every sneeze, headache, and suspiciously dark mole until I have no choice but to lie in my bed, resign...
The Mainstream Mandate
Breaking News! A new phenomenon that you’ve probably never heard of is rocking the nation: Hipster Shaming. In this country — like other issues of immigration...
One Graph To Rule Them All
In a quest to graph my life, I have stumbled across the one that exemplifies most of my daily experiences. This graph demonstrates a sense of...
“Watch” This: A Guide to the Movie Hookup
Over the summer, a friend and I were chatting fervently about his latest romantic interest–a Logan Lerman lookalike who lived about an hour’s drive away....
Sock-oscopes
Winter is coming. No, this is not an article about everyone’s favorite medieval dragon porn soap opera, “Game Of Thrones.” I’ve never even seen the...
My Pet Peeves
A ranking of my pet peeves, on a scale from “eh, I guess I can deal with this,” to “UGH SOMEONE GET ME SOME SOOTHING...
An Unfiltered Tour of Campus on Family Weekend
After almost two months of freedom missing my parents inconsolably, Family Weekend couldn’t have come sooner. I was so excited to see my parents, beg for...
Things We’ve All Done That We Hate to Admit to
Sometimes, we like to think we aren’t just one in seven billion. We like to think we are *unique!* and have our own exciting and...
True Life: I Have Travel Anxiety
I’ve just spent the weekend relaxing in New York with my family. Sunday has rolled around all too soon, meaning that it’s time to take...