Feeling Too Safe on Campus? Call a Dangerwalk!
With the end of timely warnings following DPS’ exciting arrest of the Orbee Gun Fiend (which I sincerely hope culminated in a high-speed car chase...
An Exposé on the Dark Underbelly of Feline Instagram
Hey everyone, it’s Randal here, or, as some of you may know me, Mittens the Cat from Instagram. Yes, my real name is Randal and...
Girl Talk: I Just Found Out That My Roommate Is Closely Related To Ex-Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev. Advice?
First of all, I would like to assure you that this is not an uncommon experience. I'm sure many other readers have discovered that their...
Are You Irish or Is It Just Mid-March?
You’re ready for the season of sun, fun, and darties. You know what that means. It’s time to reclaim your Irish.
Severely Judging You Based on Your Favorite Girl Scout Cookie
ever wonder what type of person you are based on your favorite girl scout cookie? no? too bad i'm telling you anyways!!
Libtard Freely Inquires, Infiltrates Local Rally
Last night, I decided to break out of my woke bubble and challenge myself by attending Free Inquiry’s panel on comedy and cancel culture, located...
Are They Dying or Are You Crazy?
Jean Claude: Welcome back to Are They Dying or Are You Crazy?, the only game show where we use the plethora of knowledge gathered by...
Why I’m Saying NO…to Study Abroad
Sure, all of my friends are gallivanting around Europe, but I get to watch skunks rifle through trash on Wriston Quad.
An Exploration of the Many Facets of Capital
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I love capital, but it seems so rudimentary. So simplistic. So… single-faceted?? If you have, you apparently are not...
Girl Who Sold Clothes on Main Green Once Now Considering Economics Major
She just understands business.