We Are All Blueno
I hate tomatoes. I hate them with an intense passion and cannot possibly fathom why anyone would enjoy their freaky texture and their tart flavor. The...
Every “Back to School” Video on YouTube
If you had the self-restraint over the summer to refrain from entering the enticing place that is YouTube, you may have missed out on three months’ worth...
My Summer Fling with MATLAB
Summer loving, had me a blast Summer loving, happened so fast I met a girl, crazy for me Met a proprietary programming language, cute as...
The Misadventures of Sexually-Frustrated Susie: The V-Dub Waffle
*Author’s note: it’s fiction, mom. Fiction! I’m not actually that sexually attracted to waffles.* Sophomore slump had been real. Susie was unsure of everything —...
I am the Hot TA
There is nothing quite as satisfying as being a teaching assistant. I’ve wanted to be a TA since I first came to Brown, both because...
Rachael Ray’s Take on Beyoncé’s Lemonade
Hi everyone! Welcome back to the Rachael Ray Show. I’m Rachael Ray. Spelled R-A-C-H-A-E-L with an A in my last name. Just to make sure....
To The One Who Broke My Heart
My Dearest, I hope you are well. It’s been a couple of days since you walked out my shitty Perkins door, and I know you...
Snapchat is Ruining My Life
I am a typical millennial. I am obsessed with Instagraming artsy pictures of food. I spend more time on my phone during family gatherings than...
The Next Big Theatrical Sensation!
To: Potential Theatre Producers From: An aspiring theatre-maker Subject: A proposal for the next biggest theatrical sensation! (Not Hamilton) An Introduction… When I was a...
A Hairy Situation
Curly hair is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a curse because it’s impossible to brush, gets frizzy easily, and if you dare try to...