The Only Person Who Can Help Me Through My Thayer-Induced Grief is Michael Scott
Exploring the illogical economics governing Thayer and the six stages of grief as described by Michael Scott.
9 Bad, Minimalist, Instagram-Worthy Poems From Spring Weekend
I promise I'm not trying to make fun of Rupi Kaur. Her poems are fine, and you all need to grow up. This is just...
Having Stories Interrupted is My Seventh Circle of Hell
I’ve tried to just force everyone to listen to the rest of my story. Like, I’ll roll my eyes and pretend I need to clear...
The Types of People You Meet in an 8:30AM Class
A field guide. Pictures not included.
An Apology to Providence Drivers
It's easier to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission...
Flat Rat Welcome Mat: Transitioning into the Post-Spring Break World
In typical New England fashion, the last day of spring break greeted me with rain like British tears after the revolution, and skies as grey...
A First Year’s Advice on Eating at the Ratty
Just because you put some french fries in a bowl, toss a slice of American cheese on top, and pour on some gravy doesn’t mean...
I’m Smart, Pretty And Funny, But He… Has A Prominent Jawline?
Yes, his personality is essentially "inherited wealth makes me a free spirit," but how can you expect me, a feminist, to resist a chin that...
My Application to Brown University
Honestly, I applied to Brown because of Untitled Bear/Lamp. When I looked at him, I could picture his creepy smile and demented button-eyes staring at...
Every Time I Walk Past The Mural on the Side of CVS, I get Sucked into an Alternate Dimension. Is that Normal?
I can't be the only one who gets sucked into an alternate dimension by the CVS mural, right?