How Likely Are You to Acknowledge the F*cking Lifeguard?
They see you, but do you see them? Turns out the likelihood that you are aware of the lifeguard is in fact a function of...
A List of Very Specific Brown Bears Admirers Submissions Clearly About Me
To the girl singing “Bennie and the Jets” in the Perkins ground floor shower like an Elton John impersonator who has had too much to...
5 Things on Netflix to tell Mike You Binge-Watched
It’s hard to seem woke when the only six TV shows you’ve watched in full are about white people living together in New York. And...
Me v. Wild
Before I spent a semester abroad in London, I vaguely knew how to take care of myself. Had I been dropped out of an airplane...
Are YOU the Horrible Roommate?
Rarely do people fall into the temperate middle ground of being purely cordial and friendly with their roommate. You usually either hear about someone having...
7 Things at Brown That Are a Better Investment Than You, Apparently
Unfortunately, we cannot offer you any additional funds for the 2016-2017 award year. The committee has determined that these seven things are a better investment...
Partying is Siiiiiiiiick!
As a leeeeetle baby freshman, I often find myself at the quintessential dorm party, sports house, or rented-out club that seem to be the staples of...
White People and Me
There’s a lot of things I don’t understand about white people. Don’t get me wrong, I like white people! No, yeah, some of my best friends...
Facebook Categories That Need to Exist
I recently learned that Facebook has groups that you can put your friends in without them knowing. I have the wonderfully thrilling options of sorting...
Secret Santa Gift Guide
I don’t know about you, but I had a terrific summer. One of my favorite parts of this summer is that it wasn’t winter. Fuck...