Everyone Still Plays Neopets (They’re Lying Otherwise)
Remember last week when your friend reminisced on the nostalgic splendor of Neopets? “Oh man, I was on Neopets nonstop back in elementary school. Good...
Thanks for the non-compliment!
One of the most frequent compliments I receive is not actually a compliment at all. I get it in floods during my first few weeks...
Getting Older, Maybe Wiser, Not Entirely Sure
I notice it when the cartilage between my two knee bones hurts after a run. I notice it when I feel like I’m being...
My Daily Existential Crises
What does it all mean? What is the purpose of life? Why are we here? What did come first – the chicken or the egg?...
The Six Villains In Your 9 AM Lecture You’d Like to See Take A Batarang to the Face
Every day, I manage to drag myself to my earliest class with only a few cornflakes stuck in my hair and my pajamas cleverly disguised...
Brewing is the New Baking
It’s fall, and everyone wants to bake stuff. I can’t complain about the constant stream of cookies and pies, but I also think there’s something...
5 People Who Are Allowed to Punch Me in the Face
“I want Beyoncé to punch me in the face,” my friend declared. I hesitated, waiting to see if she meant to say something else instead....
You Make Me Feel Like I’m Living A Teen Mom Dream
The first time I had a pregnancy dream, I was in eighth grade. It went down like this: I was sitting on the field outside...
Free the Bra
It’s dinnertime, and my family is casually sitting at the table when my dad interrupts the conversation for a breaking announcement. “I have a million-dollar...
Your Recently Used Emojis: A Window to the Soul
Whenever someone asks to use my phone, I usually have to do some emergency editing before forking over My Precious. This includes erasing incriminating texts,...