Two-Wheeling Trick o’ Treating
by Emily Adams Relationships are rare these days among our generation, especially given the increased college hookup scene. Commitment, pft. But if you are one of the lucky...
To Anyone Who Has Ever Handed a Child a Box of Raisins for Halloween
Dear Boxed Baby Raisin Loving Neighbors, Oh, Halloween. I look back on my childhood memories of trick or treating very fondly. At the end of the night, my...
Breaking News: People Search for Porn on Google
by Ali MacLeod I love Google. I use it every day of my life. It can answer every question I have, from “Where’s the nearest Starbucks?”...
Important! Halloween PSA
This is going to be the best Halloween ever. You’ve had your costume planned for at least a month. The idea came to you suddenly,...
Open Letter to the People Who Don’t Text Back – Parents Edition
To my parents, who don’t always text back right away: this letter is for you. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Abby, there are days...
The United States vs. the Candy Corn States
Dear Oregon, Wyoming, Tennessee, Texas, and South Carolina, It’s us, the other forty-five states. We know what you did. We saw the map. You picked...
Costumes for the Laziest of Us
I love Halloween. It is hands down one of the best holidays of the year. The free candy. The pumpkins. The parties. But if there’s...
The Horror Movie Conundrum
I’ve never watched a horror movie before. Well, okay, I’ve watched one once. It was on a bus during a school trip. My friends later...
Halloween Costumes That Would Actually Scare Me Now
Vampires don’t scare me anymore. Werewolves don’t scare me anymore. Zombies don’t scare me anymore – unless they are in very realistic movies of the...
Horror Stories (from My Life)
The Tale of The Falling Underwear It was a dark, stormy night. No, really. Our story takes place during Winter Storm Juno (annoyingly and widely...