Porn @ Brown
Why beat around the bush? Pornhub isn’t working on Brown’s wifi. At first, I thought this was a “me” thing. I thought some issue with...
Facebook Categories That Need to Exist
I recently learned that Facebook has groups that you can put your friends in without them knowing. I have the wonderfully thrilling options of sorting...
How to Come Back from Heartbreak (And The Presidential Election)
The week that Donald Trump was elected president of the United States was a tough one. I had two papers to write, one presentation to...
Secret Santa Gift Guide
I don’t know about you, but I had a terrific summer. One of my favorite parts of this summer is that it wasn’t winter. Fuck...
Meeting the Plants
Somehow I’m now someone who owns plants. Not just a plant, but plural plants. Two to be exact. I started out with such meager goals:...
Elements of Style
I would have never worn clogs in high school. I would have never worn turtlenecks or long dresses either because those were all things old...
Broken Door Handle: A Tragic Tale
Typical dorm bathrooms are gross. They’re ridden with hair clumps and vomit-residue and there’s always the faint, nauseating smell of someone’s post-Chipotle shit. But thanks to the work...
Hello, Adult Coloring Books
In many ways, college is a lot like preschool. You nap in the afternoon, eat mediocre food, and spend a lot of time missing your...
It Came to Me in a Dream
Have you ever had those dreams where all of your teeth fall out? Where you’re flying? Being chased by something? Have you ever had those...
Your Thanksgiving Horoscope
Aquarius: There are going to be an unprecedented number of obscure relatives at dinner this year, and they’re all going to ask “how you are”...