I Love Brown So Much That I’m Having An Affair With An Actual Bear
If I had to describe myself in one word it would definitely be “hardcore.” I have never half-assed anything. That’s how I ended up having...
How To Organize Your Facebook To Make It Seem Like You’re A Political Activist When Really All You Wanna Do Is Get Shwasted And Text Trey
In an age where social media reigns supreme, self-portrayal is everything. What you post is who you are, and it’s important people know that who you are is...
On Changing
I’ve been in college for two months, and I’m already a totally different person. While I was a mellow, reserved homebody in high school, I...
10 Quick Tips to Keep Him from Finding Out That You Poop
Nothing turns men off like the knowledge that their sexual partner has bodily functions. If your man finds out that you experience the same biological...
Hold Up! Saturdays? Are For The…BOYS?
What the heck? I always thought that Saturdays were a time of relaxation, a time to escape the dreariness of the work week, a time...
Dating Advice for Quirky Girls
For a lover on demand, apps like Tinder, Bumble, and JSwipe are there for you. Any kind of lover you’re looking for, you can find...
I’m Not Like Other Girls; I Have an Extremely Rare Condition that Makes Extra Bones Grow in My Head
See, most guys want a skinny blond girl with rich parents, designer clothes, flawless makeup, and the normal amount of bones in her head. Girls...
My “Chopped” Application
Images via Sarah Clapp. “Chopped” via “Chopped.”
250,659 Eye-Catching, Come-Hither, Be-My-Wife, Government-Sanctioned Guidelines to Dress Like a Woman
The National Propaganda Bureau National Security Agency Endorses This Message. Hey Ladies, welcome to our first edition of DYSTOPIAN COSMOPOLITAN. Today we come to you...
5 Newer New Ways to Surprise Your Partner in Bed
If there’s one thing lady magazines have taught us, it’s that sex can never be too adventurous. Every month, they crack the codes to make...