As a perpetually single lady (hit me up gents), I am constantly dreaming about having my very own Meet Cute. A meet cute is “a scene in film, television, etc. in which a future romantic couple meets for the first time in a way that is considered adorable, entertaining, or amusing.” (Thanks Google!) I may outwardly roll my eyes at rom coms but inside, I long for the day I’m in a coffee shop and someone reaches for my tall iced mocha at the same time as I do. Our hands will touch, and electricity will pass through our fingertips! We will awkwardly laugh and blush and exchange numbers and get married, although probably never have babies because pregnancy terrifies me.
But, alas, the closest I’ve gotten to a meet cute so far is accidentally taking the wrong sandwich at Au Bon Pain, walking to my dorm, then walking all the way back to return it. Nobody thought I was very cute.
Anyways, I’m sure many of you have also fantasized about your very own meet cutes. Since we’re stuck in this hell of a prestigious institution for at least four years, I’d like to suggest a few tips for creating your very own Brown Meet Cute.
1. Take the last red velvet muffin in the Blue Room
As the Buds worker passes over your treasure trove of velvety richness, make eye contact with the person directly behind you. If their eyes are filled with horror, sadness, despair, then bullseye.
Act all wide-eyed and innocent before asking, “Oh, I’m sorry! Did you want this?”
They will look at you morosely but answer, “Uh, no, it’s fine.”
Blink your eyelashes furiously but also delicately. Pretend they are tiny, adorable hummingbirds. Suggest in your sultriest voice, “We could share the muffin.”
Boom. Nothing says romance better than sharing a Blue Room muffin. Plus, unpopular opinion, those are always too rich to finish by yourself anyways.
2. “Kick” someone out of one of the study rooms at the Sci Li because you booked it three days in advance
The best way to accomplish is to select the study room with the best lighting (set aside some time for investigating this), then book it for at least an hour several times throughout the next few days or months. Undoubtedly, a cutie for you will eventually use it while you’ve booked it.
Open the door real slowly: you don’t want to startle said cutie. They will look up, curious and confused. I think a mix between abashed and shy smile (but still show those pearly whites!) will really hit home when you say, “Hi, this is awkward, but I have the room booked.”
They will respond, “Oh, I’m so sorry!” But! Before they scramble to put their stuff away, catch their hand and look deep into the windows of their soul. “Stay,” you say, “we can study together.”
Are you even in the same class? The same major? Who the hell cares?!
Of course, these are just a few examples, but the format is pretty simple. Feel free to experiment! You, too, can find love in the most cliche of ways.
