IVY ROOM
Tonight’s specially scary smoothie fix-ins include:
Sitting alone in the Ratty raspberries
Deciding your concentration coconut flakes
My roommate tested positive peaches
Mandatory 8:30 Monday morning section strawberries
Humanities concentrator job prospects pears
Existential dread that this is all for nothing nut butter
ANDREW’S COMMONS
Grandma’s (Ghost) Pizzas:
Cheese pizza (fresh dough, sauce, mozzarella, is that the fingerprint of granny’s gentle wrinkled thumbs along the freshly kneaded dough?)
Pepperoni pizza (fresh dough, pepperoni blessed by the ever-present touch of my late, carnivorous granny, may she rest in peace, mozzarella)
Four cheese pizza with spinach (fresh dough, multiple cheeses, spinaci which is what she called that special leafy green back when she would pluck it each morning from the young soil of her herb garden in the Italian countryside. Oh how I do love my departed granny. She is in each bite I take.)
JOSIAH’S
*Frying pans and frying oil stolen by students disguised in Guy Fieri costumes. Fried foods unavailable.*
Microwaved chicken (shaped like chicken tenders!)
Apples, bananas, oranges
Microwaved potato (shaped like french fries!)
Yogurt
Fruit gummies
Ketchup and mustard
SHARPE REFECTORY
Un-Comfort-ably Spooky Sides:
Fearsomely frozen peas
Spookily spiceless tempeh
Gruesomely garnished cauliflower
Devilishly droopy lettuce
Coffee milk
VERNEY-WOOLLEY
Burrito bowl, duh.
(Call it a burry-toe bowl if you need everything to be fun and fancy for your oh-so-special little holiday. PS: you should’ve stopped trick-or-treating a decade ago. Grow up or go home.)
BLUE ROOM (closed)
*Important: the decision has been made to return to Bear Bucks exclusively.*