“Where do you want to go out for dinner?”
“Can we do BYOB?”
BYOB has been hot and trendy for as long as the legal drinking age and cheapskates who want to have a bottle of wine (or two) with their dinner have existed.
But why stop at BYOB? If this concept works so well to improve our dining experiences, why don’t we just bring a few other things as well?
Bring Your Own Waiter:
Is your waiter a complete asshole who makes a snarky comment accompanied by a fake smile when you tell him you’d rather have the fries than the coleslaw or fruit salad, thanks? Begrudgingly refills your water and sighs, like he’s doing you a favor? Well, no worries. If you bring along your buddy Larry to be your waiter instead, you know you’ll have a way better time eating dinner.
“Go get your food yourself, you lazy shit.” Hahahaha, what’s that, Larry?
…Okay, maybe bring Charlie instead.
Bring Your Own Chair:
Ever wished you could just never leave that comfy rocking chair on your porch? The one with that embroidered cushion that no one’s washed since it was placed on that chair all those years ago? Are you an eighty-year-old grandmother?
Make all your wishes come true by bringing your very own chair to the restaurant. You can rock back and forth to your heart’s content, all while enjoying the alarmed expressions on the other patrons’ faces while they pray you don’t rock too far and break your neck. Just get your ungrateful grandson Jimmy to help you drag that old thing into your favorite diner.
Bring Your Own Music:
Isn’t it amazing how shitty other peoples’ music tastes can be? Isn’t yours far superior to everyone else’s? Don’t you want to share some of that love and make the world a better place? Just last night, I witnessed a woman at Sakura pull this bold move off.
“Hm, where is Sean Paul’s voice coming from?” my friend asked.
Just a brave soul’s pink encased iPhone one table over. She had her legs crossed on her tatami mat, iPhone in hand, playing Sean Paul at a moderately loud volume. Would the restaurant have ever dared play this on their speakers? Of course not. All it took was one courageous woman to take one for the team and bring Sean to our meal.
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