After four years at Brown University, the college with the philosophy that demands students cast off one-track academic focus in favor of a multifaceted education, seniors get to cap their experiences by picking members of their class and assigning them labels to sum up their personalities.
In case you were wondering, I wasn’t bitter at all that I wasn’t nominated for “best social media presence” (even though the dude from The Office says I’m funny.) Not bitter at all (even though Paste named me one of the best twitter accounts of 2014.) NO BITTERNESS HERE. 34k followers, yes, but NO BITTERNESS, ok!??!??
So….even though the Blog Daily Herald Senior Superlative Poll isn’t dumb or biased or dumb or a dumb popularity contest that doesn’t hurt people’s feelings at all, I present for your consideration:
SENIOR SUPERLATIVES THAT SHOULD EXIST.
That guy you see everywhere but never learned his name
Kid who asks the MOST PRETENTIOUS AND ANNOYING QUESTIONS in giant lecture classes
Best at pretending to be drunker than she is
Most gratuitous snapchatter
Probably the child of someone famous but everyone is too embarrassed to ask
Person who most mistakes being in an a’cappella group for having a personality
Still bitter about not getting into Yale
The “Their parents must be super rich or something because how else did he get into Brown, I really just don’t understand. Like, he mispronounced the word ‘tumultuous.’ How does he go here?” Award
Most likely to be a closeted Republican
Girl who probably didn’t hook up with a professor, but totally could have
Most delusional about how much money electronic musicians make in the real world
Person who uses MCM terms in everyday conversation
Most likely to still be complaining about Orgo. We get it, shapes are hard. Do you know what else is hard, pre-med? Surgery.
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