BERNIE:
The race got heated the moment that I jumped in,
#feelthebern, baby, that’s no coincidence.
I stand for the people, I’m not messing around.
You’re disconnected, out of touch, you have no feet on the ground.
It can seem like you’re winning when the press just loves your name,
But who can tell, really, when I play a different game?
Yeah, I’ve added some rules—you could even call them standards.
There’s not a cent of dirty money advertising Sanders.
That’s the difference between you and I,
I show my beliefs through my actions—you just sorta lie.
We’ve seen you flop like a politician, shit like a bull.
Let’s disregard every issue, yeah you’re still not likable.
Say, what’s that like, Hil?
Tell me please, I have no knowledge.
Just try being anti-Sanders and getting laid in college.
HILLARY:
Right out of the gates it was Hillary, 2016.
I haven’t lost my lead yet, you feeling ready for me?
People are all hot and bothered, like you’ve got something to say.
I get it, you’re liberal as balls, hip hip hooray.
Let’s talk experience.
So I hear that you’re a senator. How nice!
I had that gig too before I’d run for president twice.
For four years I was something we call Secretary of State—
Never heard of it? That explains your foreign policy debate.
Look, tips for the next one, so competition stays good:
If you can’t be a woman, at least mention Planned Parenthood.
I’m credible, respectable and most of all electable.
You’re just a blip on the radar—neglectable.
Now if you’ll please excuse me, I’ve got somewhere to be.
I have a date with the First, Second and Third Men.
Gonna live it up until I’m in the White House again.
Image via.
Clever rap — “Just try being anti-Sanders and getting laid in college.” Even a shout-out to Planned Parenthood. So apt!