Top home goods stores are in a panic: years of sales records are currently under review by the DOJ to identify instances in which these corporations have aided and abedded criminals. Preliminary investigations indicate that these companies have been providing mattresses to fugitives, and also sheets, fitted sheets, duvets, throw pillows, and stuffed animals. Crimes of this magnitude, nor ones occurring so widely across an industry, have not been seen for years. Regulators are comparing this to the Embezzlement Crisis of 2013, in which the creators of the BeDazzler came under fire for their role in promoting illegal embellishment.
CEO’s are dumbfounded, with Casper’s CEO saying “We just had no idea… we’re new to the industry… we never thought we needed to perform background checks on our customers to ensure we weren’t abedding any suspects. We admit that we were negligent and hope that the DOJ will take our promises for future improvements into account.”
Other sleep giants that have been selling bedding for a while though, are expected to know better. And, regulators are not looking to let corporations off easily here. They see this behavior as indicative of a corporate environment that is fully disregarding the law. Typically, they only prosecute those who abed criminals via providing mattresses, but it appears as though they want to broaden the scope of their investigation to include companies who provide sheets as well.
Statements were released earlier this morning implying that regulators were hoping to make an example of all of these corporations. Fears are swirling throughout home goods stores, particularly those who only sell sheets and have never faced this type of abedding enforcement before. IKEA, West Elm, and Macy’s are holding their breath as they wait to see if they’ll be dealing with charges as well. Needless to say, these execs won’t be getting a good night sleep for a while.
Images via, Suzanne A.