Have you ever seen a black cat? Walked under a ladder? Spilled salt?
Have you ever… had your birthday on Friday the 13th? In October, no less? I have. And it’s exactly like having a backstage pass to the world’s worst magic show.
Let me take you back to my 13th birthday when the world’s most sadistic screenwriter decided that I was the spectacularly doomed main character, and a Japanese restaurant was my own horror-comedy stage. We celebrated at the hottest hibachi joint in town—with a food safety score that was… adventurous. The chef was a self-proclaimed culinary artist who shot sake with the accuracy of a drunken stormtrooper, hitting my dad right in the face—all while I blissfully marveled at my sushi roll, which most definitely gave me food poisoning.
The real horror began when I excused myself to the bathroom. As I prepped to sit down, I heard a plop. My blue iPhone 5C had decided to audition for Finding Nemo and fell out of the pocket of my blue jean skirt (which was worn over a pair of Fall Out Boy leggings) and dived into the depths of the toilet water. Without thinking, I plunged my hand into that unfortunate abyss and grabbed my phone. In a panic, I sprinted out, crying like I’d just learned that every house was out of Halloween candy.
And then—BOOM! I collided with a server carrying my free birthday dessert, which tragically transformed into a sugar-laden explosion all over the floor. At that moment, I felt like I had performed a magic trick of my own: a vanishing act where the cake did not disappear, but my dignity definitely did.
So there I stood, phone dripping and frosting smeared across my jeans. Instead of sending me home in a sad, phoneless state, the restaurant’s owner handed me a bag of rice—because obviously, that’s the go-to solution for a waterlogged smartphone. My golden ticket to salvation.
At that moment, I decided that 13 was my lucky number, because if you can survive years of unfortunate birthday experiences, you can survive anything. So here’s to Friday the 13th! May your cats stay black, your ladders remain walked under, and your restaurant toilets… just keep your phones away from those.
Bad Luck Babe! On Turning 13 on Friday the 13th
