This year, my roommates and I attended the Third Annual A Night on College Hill, or ANOCH. In the past, we’ve had an amazingly good time clomping up-campus in our heels, dancing under a tent, and trying to break into the Nelson to pee (this year, I finally just went outside in the bushes, but it was not as good of an idea as you would think, trust me). To be honest, I didn’t even make it to the dance last year, but the spirit of ANOCH overtook me nonetheless and I had a great time being overdressed in a basement. Still, I know I missed out on a good time last year, so this year was going to be outrageous.
As I reflect on the dance that only recently took this campus by storm, I wonder to myself: Why in the hell is ANOCH always so much fun? Why is it – if you’ll permit me to say it – so lit? I’m not an anthropologist or a social scientist or whoever it is that analyzes social trends over time (this is becoming obvious by my lack of understanding of the terminology), but I did try to compile some reasons why I think ANOCH always gets so out of hand.
First, it’s outside. The acoustics of a temporary tent, in case you didn’t notice, aren’t exactly conducive to a low-key string ensemble performance. Instead, we are graced with the presence of the loudest, most raucous dance music and the edgiest, most electric live acts. Plus, outside, by its very nature, is not a basement. You can dance hard and not look like a swamp monster or a drowned animal. If you’re a sweaty person like I am, this is a BIG PLUS.
Another benefit of the outdoor setting? It’s really hard to tastefully light the interior of a tent. So it’s dark. The only light you’re getting is probably of the black-light variety. Shiny blue teeth? A sure sign of a good time. No one can see your shame but the people who are standing very, very close to you in the crowd. And those people are probably your friends anyway. If they’re not, oops! Looks like you lost your friends. Another sure sign of a good time, honestly.
Second, this is the first time you’re seeing a lot of people you know from around campus in one big social setting. You’re seeing your Ratty crush, that section-mate that you can’t stand, and your ex-boyfriend all in one place. This can get rowdy. This can also get dramatic. As someone raised in Jersey outside Philly, I find interpersonal drama intensely interesting. I was the kid chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” after school, especially when no one was going to fight.
When you get a bunch of people together who vaguely know each other, shit is going to hit the fan. Someone’s going to make out with someone who lives on their hall. Your roommate is going to see her ex and hide in the bathroom (which is RUDE, by the way, you’re holding up the line, and this girl can only pee in the bushes so many times and retain her dignity!). Someone is going to drunk cry and leave. Anything can happen!
Lastly, and this is big, it’s a fancy, dress-up affair. For a night, everyone dons their cocktail dresses and suits and acts in a way that no one who is wearing a $50 ensemble should act. The main effect of the dress code? Everyone looks FLY as HELL. You’re going to see people in an entirely new light. That girl who you run into in Barus & Holley all the time? Trade the gray atmosphere of the engineering department for the black-light chaos that is ANOCH, and you’ll be crushing in no time. Plus, look at her figure in that dress! Wow, wow, wow. She looks like she is successfully managing a full-blown career and a full-blown social life in Portland, Oregon. No, she looks like she knows a thing or two about alcohol and doesn’t settle for Natty Light. NO, she looks like she watched Gossip Girl and her favorite character was Blair Waldorf. For God’s sake, she must be yours!
I will never again grace A Night on College Hill with my sparkling personality (or a sparkling halter-top number). But the soul of my turnt-ness will live on long after I am gone. All I ask is that next year at ANOCH, you do one solid face-plant in the grass for me. I salute you.
