Bike Boyfriend, Cardio Crush, Pedal Powered Passion Project (etc.)
I bike because I’m just a good person who values physical activity. No, seriously! I love how my sweat build-up forms eczema patches on my thighs, shaped like the Hawaiian islands if they were bloated after a night of heavy drinking. I bike because I love that tight fluttery chest feeling that makes me question if I’m having a heart attack but don’t know because the symptoms are different for men and women and I can’t go to the doctor because they’ll make me weigh myself and, given the choice between the two, I’ll take the heart attack. Truly, I love it.
Really, any exercise I do is to help my rampant anxiety caused by a butterfly flapping its wings a million miles away, or something of similar magnitude. Oh, and getting to ogle the hot dads in ass-padded shorts is just an added bonus.
Everything shared is 100% true with no exaggeration. Tune in next week for Ep. 5 to see what other shenanigans Annie’s friend gets into during her messy search for love.