Dear Burgeoning Activist,
First, I would like to thank you for your dedication to the cause. I neither know nor care what cause you are for, but I’m sure it is great. You, after all, are great.
Now, if you found yourself on Instagram this summer – and chances are amidst this global pandemic, you did – then you probably saw two or three or 800 black squares on your feed. In fact, you probably posted one.
These squares, which were posted by influencers and plebeians alike, were meant to show solidarity with Black Lives Matter, a self-described social movement which advocates for nonviolent civil disobedience in protest of police brutality, and other acts of violence against Black people in America. For many people, posting this black square was their first foray into the world of activism. If this was you, read on.
Critics were quick to point out that posting a black square, while well-intentioned, is entirely performative, and not actually activism. Though it shows your friends and family that you theoretically condemn the violent murders of innocent Black people, it in no way actively combats racism, either systemic or overt.
Now, it’s clear that it’s not fulfilling enough to simply be altruistic. You must ensure that the world knows you are altruistic. After all, to donate to the National Pediatric Cancer Foundation without posting receipts would be like teaching your baby to play piano to enhance his motor skills, rather than to sign him up for America’s Got Talent.
Which is why I would like to suggest a better, equally visible, way to be an activist to any cause of your choosing: change your Venmo settings to public.
I mean it. What better way to show the world the kind of person you are? See below for three expert tips on the subject:
One. Don’t turn your Venmo settings to public only when you are about to donate. Make all your transactions public. That way, when you do donate, the notifications your Venmo contacts get will be both innocuous and inspirational. (Think: At 6:42pm, everyone learns that you paid Gretchen seven dollars for Margarita Monday. The next day, at 10am, everyone learns that you, still hungover, sent 20 bucks to the single mother of four who was just laid off because of COVID. It’s truly a win-win.).
Two. Use emojis. You want the message accompanying your donation to stop scrolling fingers and wandering eyes. Try to channel the emoji version of those bumper stickers that use different religious symbols to spell out the word “COEXIST.” (Think: Angel wings, man in a wheelchair, racially diverse peace signs, cancer ribbons, and the pride flag.).
Three. Stay active. Treat Venmo like any other social media platform. Like and comment on other people’s transactions, and guilt them into noticing your philanthropy. (Think: “It’s nice that you refunded your friend for that slice of pizza. Maybe next time consider sending those two dollars to homeless babies in war-torn Syria.”)
I hope you have found my advice helpful. I know it is difficult to navigate the world as a newly-crowned activist. Remember, at the end of the day, if you don’t follow my advice only you will know how generous you really are. Now, sit back, turn those Venmo settings to public, and wait for your Nobel Peace Prize to arrive in the mail in four to six business days.
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