As an ex-athlete, one thing that was consistently drilled into me was that I need to eat protein. Not your gym-bro dry-scooped protein, but food that contains enough nutrition to prevent my muscles (real big guns, of course) from turning into jelly. Back home, my diet was sustained by Greek yogurt, and by sustained, I mean that if Greek yogurt was not in some way a part of my meal, it was either a very special day (ie. Thanksgiving, my birthday, or a foreign country/planet where yogurt could not be found within a day’s-travel radius), or I ran out and could not make a Costco run in time.
(Side note: there are NO Costcos in the state of Rhode Island. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I should have looked into that before I committed to coming here. I’m having Costco withdrawals, and the cure requires interstate travel.)
Regardless, once I got to my dorm and saw the lovely fridge provided, I was determined to always have a container of Greek yogurt in it. Unfortunately, like all of my plans and goals for a semester of having my shit together, my grocery shopping became inconsistent and then nonexistent.
My meal plan, which I just had to buy, also cost a pretty penny. So, instead of grocery shopping, I thought, ‘why don’t I find yogurt in one of the campus eateries?’ And I did. For a few weeks, all was good with the world because the Ivy Room or Jo’s always had Chobani. Now, Chobani is not my Greek yogurt of choice; a brand named FAGE has my heart. FAGE Greek yogurt is 1) actually made by a Greek family, so the authenticity is *chef’s kiss*, and 2) somewhere in the yogurt-making process, a lot of the water is drained out so you’re left with some thiccccccccc yogurt. It’s basically yogurt distilling, and certain things are just better concentrated. Chobani is still better than nothing, though, and beggars can’t be choosers.
One thing I have realized in my adventures is that surprisingly, Jo’s has been the most consistent Chobani supplier of all the dining halls, but securing the Chobani has not been without its trials. There have been many a Friday or Saturday night when I zig-zag my way through hordes of drunk students looking for just one prized container of yogurt. Even in the few instances where Chobani has been sighted, a second quest is unlocked. I must decide whether I want the temporary joy of a 1am spicy-with or the future comfort of my yogurt, and if I am in a state where I can physically carry said yogurt back to North campus without it exploding on the sidewalk. Through much trial-and-error, I have found time on random Tuesdays or Thursdays or sometimes Mondays and Sundays to get my yogurt and have a stock in the fridge.
In short, my journeys at odd times to replenish my yogurt supply have been quite an adventure. Here are some things I learned:
– The Ivy Room is closed on Saturdays. Triple check the calendar app if you have to, even if you don’t think it’s a Saturday. You will be greeted by several tall, absurdly heavy doors and an empty room with no ingestible calories in sight. The only thing more disappointing than tucking into their six-pack of sushi is not finding it in the first place.
– Just like with school work, procrastinating with food is not ideal. Don’t wait until you have nothing left to go looking. Especially in the unpredictable climate of Brown’s dining halls, you never know what to expect. I certainly didn’t. During one of my first days on campus, I thought it would be a good idea to grab breakfast from the V-dub 30 minutes before breakfast ended. I ended up with a sad plate of smushed grapes, some kind of mystery meat, and soggy sweet potato. Since that day, I have yet to set foot in the V-dub.
– And, last but not least, there are some really interesting yogurt alternatives. Actually, I’m not going to call them alternatives because my yogurt holds a special place in my heart that could never be filled by such an imposter as the coconut/oat milk/soy-free/may-contain-alien-products alternatives. I just want regular yogurt. Pretty please?
I’m lucky enough to be able to go home for Thanksgiving, and you may ask: what am I looking forward to most? (Keyword: may. This has been quite an obscure rant, and maybe you’re not interested because your protein comes from huge tubs of powder, Rotisserie chicken (only $5 at Costco), or car-sponsored trips to a grocery store, but that’s okay. I’m just trying to match my A’s with T’s and G’s with C’s. May all your food-ventures go swimmingly.)
1) Seeing family, friends, and my best friend’s goldendoodle, and
2) Knowing exactly where in the fridge I can find a gorgeous container of Fage 0% Greek yogurt, courtesy of Costco.
