My Dearest Oreos,
Mine sweet sandwich cookies, words cannot express how much thou mean to me, but I must attempt, for mine own sake. I have only known ye for an instant in time, yet it seems an eternity that we have been united. Only if I were told that thy filling was connected to mine heart by a string wouldst I understand the deep connection between us. Alas, before we found each other, I felt a cavernous hollow inside. Alack and alack, I believed I was meant to goeth through life alone, indeed. By some miracle, my darling little cherubs, Fate intervened. The moment mine eyes gazed upon thine glorious soul, I couldn’t look away. From thy smooth, sensual innards to the ornate curvatures on thy front and back, I knew we were meant to be together.
I can easily recall three separate occasions on which thine scrumptiousness hath caused me to lose my mind, overindulge in thy presence, yet feel no regret. The first, the celebration of my sixteenth year. An old chap brought thou to me, as I had mentioned that I hadn’t seen ye in many moons. I lost myself in thy delicious creamy filling, contained so delicately by the everlasting crunch of thine cookie. The second, Halloween of the year two-thousand-and-fifteen. Over Reese’s, Kit Kats, and M&M’s, I picked thou, my darlings. I could have picked anyone I wanted! Yet, thou were the only one I desired on that sacred night. I traced the letters on thy skin, O-R-E-O, with mine finger, just to feel thy presence on mine. The third, merely a fortnight past. A close relative noted my excitement upon my seeing thine likeness in an advertisement on the telly, and fetched thou from the local market for mine enjoyment. Do you recall how we spent the whole evening staring into each other’s eyes? Had thy been the sun I surely would’ve gone blind! ‘Twas a truly glorious reunion, and our separation since hath been unbearable.
My little darlings, I cannot bear to be away from you any longer. Mine heart aches. I suffer from tremors and shudder awake in the night in a nervous sweat. So vicious these attacks have been, the local Physician conducted an examination! Ye art the sole reason for which my living endures. Ye grant me the courage and strength to complete my days, painful as they may be without thy Divine presence. How much longer must we keep up this dance, this pitiful charade, when we both know we art meant to be? Would I not sell my soul to the Devil Himself had I but another opportunity to feel thy warm embrace!
I can’t wait to put mine lips to thy body once more. ‘Tis evening anon, my munchkins. Perchance, my sweets, may we meet?
Lovingly yours, always and forever,
Samantha
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