On March 23, Joe Giudice, husband of The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice, reported to federal prison where he will spend the next 41 months serving time for bankruptcy fraud. Teresa and Joe were both found guilty of the crime in 2014. Teresa, having already served her year-long sentence, has written multiple letters filled with advice and words of encouragement to her beloved behind bars. Lucky for you, we here at The Rib have the inside scoop. I ran down to beautiful New Jersey and intercepted one of Teresa’s letters to Joe, which is typed out below for your reading pleasure.
Hi honey!!!
I hope you are doing good. Baby, I know that 41 months is a long time, but you can get through it. Back when I was in prison, they took everything I loved away from me. There was a buncha mold in the bathroom, the shower water was freezin’ cold, and the only sunglasses I could buy were crappy ones from the prison commissary for $5.20. I missed my Guccis. And there was so much girl drama! Prison was Hell.
Instead of thinking about the life I left behind, I decided to focus on myself and become a better person. I started doing yoga a few times a day, and kept a journal to record my daily thoughts. I even got some inmates to do my hair and nails for a few extra bucks. Speaking of money, remember that time we evaded our taxes? Haha. I didn’t think we were doing anything illegal. But y’know, the government saw it differently.
How are things going so far? Have you made any friends? Does the food taste okay? Do you look sexy in that orange jumpsuit? I’m not interrogizing you, sweetheart. I just want to make sure you’re as comfy-wumfy as you can be behind bars.
Anyway, the girls are good. Gia got mad at me yesterday because I wouldn’t buy her a fourth Birkin Bag, so she threw a hair straightener at me. It was hot! So funny. Milania, Audriana, and Gabriella are good too.
Prison can make you feel lonely, baby. Just remember that I’m always there with you. But not literally there. I’ll be filming the next season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, raking in $750,000 per episode. Don’t worry, we’ll make back that $5 million we defrauded in no time! Try to channel your sadness into something constructive, like I did. I wrote a book called “Turning the Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again.” Be sure to tell your prison buddies about it!!
With love,
Tree
Images via Sam Crausman, via, and via.