As a child, shopping for school supplies was always one of my guilty nerd pleasures. An array of folders begging to be decorated with stickers, stretchy textbook covers that also functioned as do-rags, and, if you were part of the kindergarten elite, skin-color markers! As I’ve gotten older, my school supplies have dwindled to just a laptop and a pencil. Unfortunately, this means that people no longer define themselves by boasting about their 24-pack of crayons and glitter glue. Instead, college students express their unique identities through their backpacks. Which backpack clique do you fall into?
Jansport:
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The Old Classic. Slightly worn straps, frayed edges, and a half-broken zipper fit your casual disposition. You’re the vanilla of ice cream, the golden retriever of dogs, nothing special, but a safe bet.
North Face:
Are you going to class or Mount Everest? I get it, you like functionality. And, yes, those padded shoulder straps actually do make a difference. But the bungee cords do seem a little extreme even if you are trekking to the 14th floor of the Sci Li.
Herschel:
If you’re trying to go for the new up-and-coming brand, you need to look elsewhere. Hipster culture is the mainstream culture at Brown University. If you want to be out of the box here, vote Republican or listen exclusively to Katy Perry.
L.L. Bean:
Some of us accept change faster than others, but if you’ve had the same indestructible backpack since first grade, it’s probably time to move on. The monogram is cute, but it’s really only fun if your initials are cool like “CAT,” “FUK,” or “ASS.”
Brief Case:
Pre-professional douchebag alert! Calm down, bro. I get it, you want to intimidate the competition in your finance class, but you’ll have time for that at your first Goldman Sachs interview.
Satchel:
Hipster briefcase. Think, mustache douche. For the record, I found this picture on trend-kid.com under “cool messenger bags.” Enough said.
Designer:
Spending upwards of $300 on a backpack seems a little over the top, but if you really want to put your pencils and textbooks in a bag that costs as much as your laptop, be my guest. I commend you for looking like you just stepped off the runway despite being in 9 am Econ.
Transparent:
While these are dope in theory, remember that your backpack probably won’t look like a chic tumblr fashion blog on a daily basis. Rather than toting around lollipops and $100 bills, everyone is probably going to see your tampons and TI-84 calculator.
Roller:
I have yet to spot the elusive roller backpack kid, but I know you’re out there! Wherever you are, keep doing what you’re doing. I was forced to sport one of those for a lot longer than I’d like to admit (thanks, scoliosis), so I know the pain you’re going through. You do you and roll away from the haters
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