The best days of people’s lives are usually their wedding, when their children are born, the days they get their tax return money, and so on. Me? I’ve already lived my best day. The day of the 2016 Golden Globes when Quirky Down-to-Earth Jennifer Lawrence infamously launched herself off the heavenly platform the world had placed her on. It was sweet, sweet bliss.
I used to be quite a fan of hers until her fall at the Academy Awards.
Okay, I didn’t quite turn on her after the first one, but definitely after the other two:
That’s no less than THREE trips at award shows and premieres. I smell a conspiracy. Could it be that an A list celebrity truly can’t walk in heels, or is this a publicity ploy to seem more quirky and relatable? Probably Definitely the latter. She’s still in the “I’m Not Like Other Girls” phase most of us outgrew when we left middle school. She loves pizza and hates going out! She says terribly ignorant things! She ridicules and minimizes eating disorders! She acts like she’s not extremely conventionally attractive and is a terrible model for body positivity!
Okay. I should take a deep breath before I have an aneurysm, or two, or ten.
I spent too many years surrounded by people who were nestled in the crevice of JLaw’s ass. Friends and classmates who salivated over how relatable and uniquely attractive her Euro-centric features were. I prayed and pleaded with the universe that society would wake up and smell her bullsh*t. And this winter break, during the Golden Globes, my prayers were finally, FINALLY answered.
A recap: Jennifer Lawrence won an award for her part in the movie Joy despite it being an entirely average performance in an entirely mediocre movie (she could win an award for sneezing in the background of a film) and attended a press conference afterwards. During this time a reporter asked her a question. It was clear that this reporter’s first language was not English, and he could have been looking at his phone in order to properly phrase his question. Or perhaps he was taking notes (as reporters do) or a picture of her (also as reporters do). In an attempt to be “fierce and hilarious” JLaw interrupted his question saying ““You can’t live your whole life behind your phone, bro. You can’t do that. You’ve got to live in the now.”
This continued even after the reporter sincerely apologized. When he went to ask the question (presumably) “How do you see yourself for Oscar night?” or how she thought she’d do at the Oscars, JLaw interrupted him to sneak in one more snide comment, “We’re at the Golden Globes. If you put your phone down you’d know that.”
If you put down your MASSIVE ego maybe you’d realize how terrible of a human being you are! I’m not really surprised that JLaw, America’s sweetheart, is a spoiled, rude and inconsiderate brat. However, I was quite surprised and delighted when the media turned on her in the blink of an eye. And when I say “delighted,” I mean I wept with happiness for an entire day as the media roasted her to a crisp. A thousand articles calling her out and a Buzzfeed poll with a whopping 448K votes indicates how strongly people are reacting.
I feel truly blessed to have witnessed this fall from grace. Adios, JLaw. You have flown too close to the sun.
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