My dear misunderstood Ratty:
I know we haven’t always had the best of relationships. The first time I ever had the pleasure of sampling your culinary creations on CUBS Day. I must admit I was not immediately impressed. I remember eating waffle fries (which, granted, were definitely good) and not very much else.
When I began my life at Brown, you were a place visited only on desperate occasions. After all, Pembroke is a distant land, and why would I bother leaving the comfort of Andrews’ pho and artisanal pizzas? Chicken and waffles on a pizza? So edgy. Authentic pho made by the hands of authentic BuDs workers? How culturally aware. Even the Vdub at least has waffle makers and CFF- comparatively, Ratty, you simply seemed bland.
However, now that I live on Wriston, I frequent your halls daily. As much as I appreciate the salad bar (eating vegetables makes a college student feel like they have some control over their life) and the occasional mac n’ cheese (even better than Easy Mac!) I have definitely openly complained about your offerings several times.
The chicken filets are bone dry.
Why is there always a kiwi bowl? No one ever takes kiwis.
Everything on my plate is some differentiating shade of tan and it makes me want to cry.
What exactly is edamame hummus?
But Ratty, I now wish I could retract each and every one of these complaints, for this past winter break has humbled me greatly. As much as I love my home, it does have its shortcomings. Mainly, the food situation. Our fridge, while always seemingly full, actually only really contains Tupperware full of random sauces and single leftover bites of food that is verging on going bad.
And so I have the following choices: buy food and spend my own money, cook something with the limited supplies we have (usually some variation of scrambled eggs), or don’t eat at all. All three are dismal choices. I have literally made popcorn for lunch before, and my stomach was not happy about it.
Ratty, I mean it when I say that you are truly a godsend. Having ready-made food available at any time is a luxury that I took for granted. I promise that from now on, I will never complain about your food.* Even on days when I only eat your waffle fries.
Image via.
Ed. Note: Yeah, good luck with that.