Achievable Resolutions

The great thing about winter break is that it serves both as a way to mark the end of the semester and the end of the year. Being home, or wherever it is you find yourself for those well-deserved weeks off, can often make you think about the upcoming months – what you hope to achieve this year, what you are feeling apprehensive about, and also about the Super Bowl Halftime Act. This is the time of year when people begin to set goals, most often under the pretext of New Year’s Resolutions. It’s also the time of year when articles pop up about how resolutions are pointless, how everyone will fail and how nobody should even try anything, ever. And sure, while some New Year’s Resolutions like “Become CEO of Something” are probably too ambitious for some of us, I personally find myself daydreaming of achieving much more realistic and perhaps pathetic things, like “Watching More Things on Netflix.” So, I have decided to share these realistic resolutions in the hopes of spreading a “Yes, We Can” attitude for this upcoming year/semester.

  1. “Go Into Providence More” (or alternatively, “Venture Off College Hill”) – How many times have you said this phrase? Seriously, we all just need to collectively take action and do this. Even if it’s just to Geoff’s Sandwiches. But I guess this is the semester with snow… Does Piezoni’s count?
  2. Make One New Friend — Not someone you only talk to in class. I’m talking about someone you could stay up eating pizza and watching 30 Rock with. I constantly meet people, make plans to hang out with them, and envision our future together in which we live in neighboring grown-up tree houses. I’ll say hi to them if I see them at the Ratty, but we never actually hang out. So, I’m aiming for making one solid new friend this year.
  3. Have A Brown-Worthy Outfit— Why does everyone have an impeccable fashion sense and how can I get on that boat? I’ll settle for having one cool outfit this year.
  4. Skip The Spiral Notebook — I am not STEM and I take my notes on my laptop. In 2016, I’m going to try to pretend to be as sophisticated as every single person in every seminar I’ve ever taken. I just have to decide how much (or little) money I want to spend on over-priced basic learning necessities.
  5. Give Channing Tatum A Chance – My friends and I have this thing about how Tatum is great, but has a very meaty face and is therefore not a serious actor? I feel like we all just discredited him because he dances or whatever, but this year is the year I take him seriously.
  6. Try Kombucha – It’s 2016, for Christ’s sake. I should have been on this train years ago.
  7. Become A Hugger – I honestly am such a touchy person, but I’m scared that my bear hugs make people uncomfortable. This year I’m just going to be true to my inner Winnie the Pooh.*
  8. Write in Books – I used to think that writing in books was sacrilege, but now I’m old and I forget the funny jokes I come up with while reading Jodi Picoult, so I need to start jotting things down in margins.
  9. Stop Tweeting So Much About Jane the Virgin – Seriously, it’s a problem.
  10. Watch More Jane the Virgin – No, for real, it’s such a good show and everyone should watch it. This might make #9 hard, obvs.
  11. Do Scholarship Research Once a Week – I always say I’ll do this, but never do.
  12. Not Procrastinate A Final Paper For At Least One Class – Wait, this shouldn’t be on this list. Not sure I can do that.

*He’s a hugger, right?

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