Halloweekend has come to a close, and with November upon us, I’d say things have started to cool down. The campus has had it’s fair share of sweets and spooks under a backdrop of some really stunning fall colors, but I’ve got to say it.
I confess myself disappointed.
You see, it stands to question that Halloween simply isn’t what it used to be anymore. American culture, oversaturated by the over-simple and rife with stagnancy, has lost the true flavors of the word “Boo!” and the niche creativity of scariness. I think I can say with confidence that only true medieval Gaelic kids will remember the real Halloween, and if you understand that, you’d agree that modern Halloween is in a sorry state.
How I long for the good old days!
Brown really had a chance to up the ante this year. I can picture it now. Animal sacrifice on the Main Green. Sacred bonfires down Thayer. Costumes made from skinned squirrels.
It would have worked so well. We had everything at our fingertips.
But Brown just didn’t follow through.
And that is a disappointment.
Why have our traditions changed so much? America has irreparably replaced traditions with candy, and parties, and, worst of all, punny costumes. Punny costumes! What would our Halloween Celtic forefathers think of that? It’s a poison on a holiday that had its heyday in a time long (long, long, long) gone.
But I understand why we’ve gotten so soft, or why we’ve replaced blood with red food coloring. Unfortunately, you’re all babies. And it’s a shame that the traditions that so honored human history have been reduced to mockery. A perfectly good time of revelry and bloodletting and sacrificial bonfires, gone, and replaced with cutesy fake blood and Scream masks and, again, PUNNY COSTUMES.
Such a shame.
Hopefully, prompted by this message, those that sincerely care about the state of Halloween will cast down their silly mouse ears and wear instead animal skins, and hold sacrifices to the crop spirits, as we once did.
I can’t believe that a tradition is being allowed to change so drastically. And it’s shameful that Brown, of all progressive places, would allow wusses to profit from the downfall of a now-dead culture’s tradition. It’s 2015, sheeple! A better time than any to reinstate a safe space for spirits, as the Celts once did.
But until then, I can only think nostalgically of what Halloween used to be. And so it is with great sadness, but great hope for change, that I rate this year’s Halloween a simple 3.5 out of 10.
Better luck next year, weaklings.
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