- Carve a Larger Love Line into Your Hand
Do not let genetically predetermined factors limit your ability to find love. Grab your nearest butter knife and start lightly sawing at the edges until you’ve achieved your desired length!
- React to their Instagram stories using the heart eyes emoji
Liking stories is passé and platonic, show your real intentions by committing to a heart-eye emoji. Don’t let yourself get relegated to the notification tab, you’re in the DMs now.
- Ward-off Demons Using Dior Sauvage Salt Circle
You can’t use candles unless you want ResLife to kick your ass into the clouds with Cupid himself, but you can use salt and Dior Sauvage. Make a small circle with the salt around the cologne and repeat This type of love will not find me. Bury the perfume outside the OMAC for the best results!
- Shave Their Initials Into Your Pubes
Invite their presence into your divine sexual energy while honing your motor skills, uhh yes, please! Add in hearts and peace signs for an added aesthetic elegance.
- Legally Change Their Name so You Have a Higher Compatibility on Crush Matching Sites
Like a marriage proposal, there’s nothing more romantic than a name change. Fool around on love calculators until you find the ideal name of your partner and then request and file a couple of government documents to prove your undying commitments.
- Start Dressing Up Like Them and Follow Them to Class to Send Subconscious Signs
Show your love by showing how much you see them—both literally and figuratively. Best results by finding them on campus in the morning and going back to your dorm to change. When you run into them again, joke your way about twinning into their arms.