Ahead of the upcoming UCS, CCB, and UFB elections, Taylor Swift has stepped in to remind Brown students to ‘vote the people who most represent YOU’ into student government this Spring.
Students across campus have expressed gratitude and relief at Swift’s words. Junior Max Smith said, “I really wasn’t sure which candidate I was going to vote for – or if I was even going to vote at all – but now, with Taylor behind me, I feel empowered. I’ve decided to vote for the white dude who was captain of his high school debate team. He has loads of leadership experience, and I hear his organisational skills are second to none.”
Swift’s foray into Brown University campus politics has spawned both excitement and questions about what she will do next. Here at The Rib, we’re hoping she’ll urge President Paxson to have her very own ‘goth-punk moment of female rage at being gaslit by an entire social structure’ by continuing to pursue charges against the 41 students she had arrested in December. Either way, we’ll be awaiting Taylor’s next non-statement with bated breath.