The Clothing Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race, and Brown University is just one of countless institutions that perpetuates the textilist agenda. The nudist cause has been suppressed by Brown and exists solely on a mostly inactive Reddit page titled ‘r/brownbares’; a safe haven for nudists, deviants, and perverts alike to celebrate the human body in its natural state. For those unfamiliar with r/brownbares, the page is filled with brave students posting their naked bodies online for the public to enjoy, and sometimes, the bravest of these heroes will pose nude in semi-public places around our beloved campus. Unfortunately, this once thriving subreddit has faced a gradual decline in popularity. Perhaps this is because the vast majority of Reddit users are millennials and are far past their college years. More likely, however, the page’s slow downturn is a result of the rampant anti-nudist sentiment that can be felt throughout campus and is upheld by Brown’s administration.
I know what you’re probably thinking; “But what about the Naked Donut Run?”. The Naked Donut Run, Brown’s most beloved (and only) tradition, might lead one to believe that Brown University is a place that embraces nudity and the nudist community. Yet the University has a pattern of implementing superficial celebrations of diversity, and the clothing-oppressed are no exception. The Naked Donut Run is but an isolated incident of acceptance—try going to the SciLi in the nude any other day and see how quickly the textile tyrants become intolerant.
The fight for nudist rights may seem like an impossible cause, but change is certainly possible. In March of 2022, Brown University lifted the mask mandate. If they can lift mask mandates, they can lift clothing mandates. Clothing is essentially a mask for our entire body, but unlike masks, clothing provides no benefit to society. This may be difficult for the apparelled to understand, but clothing can feel suffocating for nudists and vestiphobes. Clothing is a means by which to control the masses. Clothing is oppressive.
The nudists of Brown demand more. Sure, we can all post on r/brownbares to show our support (and our bodies), but why stop there? There is only one solution: the University ought to implement a sensible policy on nudity to support our clothing-diverse student population. Students should not only have the right to be nude on campus, but clothing should be banned entirely to ensure the nudist community feels safe and accepted.
Students, let us stand united, for—after all—we are all nudists underneath our clothes.
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