Sam Caley, Class of 2026, is the latest in a long line of freshmen to discover that a ‘jam session’ is really just code for ‘let’s play guitar in the Keeney basement until we get invited to do literally anything else’.
“I was super excited to have been invited,” Caley admitted, having spent the better half of his first week at Brown playing dirges to his roommate in Morris, who eventually had to quarantine in their private bathroom, or whatever it is they have up there. “But when I got to the Arnold Lounge, it was literally just five guys playing whatever they wanted to play individually and calling it a ‘new song’. It was like Pitch Perfect, but for straight white dudes.”
It appears, however, that Caley’s fellow jammers lack his self-awareness. In the absence of distinguishing features and/or personalities, The Rib picked one at random, Jamie Hirst, to speak to further.
Hirst, a passionate and serious musician, has “built an epic following” on Soundcloud and even wrote one of his college essays about his connection with his guitar, Betsy, so The Rib couldn’t wait to hear all about his foray into Brown’s underground music scene.
“When I first arrived, you know, it was just a smoky room with uncomfortably bare walls where five people with their mouths half open were mindlessly playing instruments. But when I left, we were a band,” Hirst explained, tears glistening in his eyes.
When asked about next steps, Hirst smiled coyly and teased a live concert on the Main Green, so that everyone can experience the group’s ‘music’ without the paper-thin walls of Jameson-Mead to muffle the noise. “The real dream, though,” confessed Hirst in hushed tones, “would be headlining SV.”
Hirst was recently spotted “in the studio” working tirelessly on “new material” for “the fans.”