When Adam Levine sang – nay, warbled – ‘She Will Be Loved’ in 2004, he was careful not to identify the titular ‘she’. 18 years later, it has come to the public’s attention through a frankly insane stream of Instagram DMs that the woman he is intent on loving is not in fact his wife (Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsloo) but an Instagram brand ambassador (?) called Sumner Stroh.
We already know that you can be hot and still get cheated on from the Beyoncé/EmRata sagas – sending those ladies love and light always. Nevertheless, it’s upsetting to think that someone like Adam Levine (identifiable by his random assortment of tattoos, blank expression, and general pallor) has the audacity to do this.
While you might think Levine’s most Beautiful Mistake was texting like a 14-year-old boy who just learned that DMing is free and women exist, the worst part of all of this is that he liked the name Sumner. Enough to name his unborn child after her.
Since the scandal, a whole flock of women have come forward accusing Levine of ‘compromising their morals’, including his former yoga instructor (how original). Who’s next, Adam? The nanny? Only time will tell, but here’s hoping that this does not prompt another Maroon 5 album that will inevitably play in Forever 21s nationwide for the next decade.