If the Pyramid was the housing lottery we all know Abby Lee Miller would be using her grubby little hands to bribe someone at ResLife. With that in mind, here is the official list of where the OG Dance Moms Girls would live on Campus:
Let’s get the obvious out of the way: Maddie would be living at campus’s shiny new jewel, Wellness. She would never use the kitchen, much to the chagrin of literally everyone else who doesn’t live in Wellness, and instead incessantly order DoorDash, She would also be incredibly anal about her space and no one would be able to throw parties in her suite. Boo.
Mackenzie would live in Keeney, specifically, in Arch Bron – objectively the most freshman of all the freshman dorms (and you know she went crazy the first weekend and threw up in the communal bathrooms). Nevertheless, she would spend all her time in James Mead, trying to make her way up in the world.
Chloe, the love of all of our lives, would live in Minden. You may think this is a weird choice, but bear in mind that I live in Minden. And I will defend it to the end of the earth. Minden is sweet, underrated, and classy – just like Chloe.
Poor Nia, forever overlooked, would have been sabotaged by Abby and would have thus been relegated to Perkins. That being said, she would make her room cute and thus, win in the end.
Paige would live with the Womxn’s Collective in Marcy. Her room decor would definitely include fairy lights and pastel coloured posters, and she would Instagram every single formal she was invited to. Nevertheless, she would always give you homework answers if you skipped class.
Now this might be a controversial opinion, but Brooke would live in Grad Center, both because she is pretty bland (like Grand Center) and also because she was generally wronged on the show, which parallels with having to live in Grad Center. Sucks to suck.
So Kendall’s not in the original cast, if anyone’s fact checking. But doing this list without her would be a crime, so go cry about it. As Kendall is now notoriously a Trump supporter, I am going to take the liberty of assigning her to New Pem, on the side with all the noise from Thayer. Good luck with your beauty sleep!
For reasons unknown to me at present, I feel like Vivi would live in substance free housing in Andrews. And no, this is not shade, I feel like she would make it lit (in the sober sense of the word). Power to you, Vivi.
And as a last hurrah and final treat for you, dear reader, I think Abby Lee Miller, were she forced to live on campus, would live in Wayland Arch in the room with the tower. And from that tower, she would rule campus. From the top of the pyramid, so to speak.