It’s a tale as old as time: Zendaya is Meechee, Lebron James is Gwangi. Dannnny Devito is Dooorgle! Common is Stonekeeper, Zendaya is Meechee. GIIInA Rodriguez is Kolka. And ZenDAYA IS MEECHEE. (Zendaya is Meechee)
So like, that’s easy enough. Some hard and fast truths like that are comforting. But…who am I? Which character am ~I~ voice acting in this crazy cartoon called LIFE? Do I have sort of a rough around the edges with a heart of gold thing going on? Do I get a musical number? Does my fur get to be periwinkle?
Woah, I’m overwhelmed by the limitless options of my existence constrained by my own finite mortality again. Let’s just go over the facts to calm down. Zendaya is Zendaya and therefore Meechee. Meechee is Meechee, who is Zendaya. A little more confusingly, Danny Devito IS Dorgle. Common is Stonekeeper, and I dare you to say he could be anything else. Okay, I think I’ve got this straight.
If Zendaya is Meechee, I am Dana, who is…AHHHHHH!
Okay, obviously breaking this down into little bits didn’t help. Let’s scale this rock solid logic UP. Up like the inflection on the “i” in Gina Rodriguez is Kolka.
Zendaya is Meechee, Meechee is Zendaya. If all Zendayas are Meechee and all Meechees are Zendayas, then maybe all Danas are Confusion and all Confusions are Dana. Dana is Confusion and therefore Confusion is Dana. Yes, that feels right, let’s keep working in that direction. Zendaya is Meechee: purple, precocious, practical in a pinch. Dana is Confusion: a junior, jaded, and jazzy when the time is just right. Yes, that seems correct, but let’s just write out some equations to #showourwork.
Zendaya = Meechee(x) ,
where x = purple, precocious, and practical in a pinch
Dana = Confusion(y) ,
where y = junior, jaded, and jazzy when the time is just right
Yes, just as I suspected. The math is flawless. Zendaya is Meechee and I am Confused.
