Due: two weeks ago
__clean yo room overdue
__watch lecture captures from those two lectures you missed because you were cramming for a physics exam overdue
__apply for 10 research positions!!! (do they need a resume?) overdue
X watch that one vine compilation ur friend sent you
__write Big Essay overdue
__study for orgo exam next week overdue
Due: one week ago
__tell section leader you’re not coming to section
X don’t tell her it’s because u have to cram for orgo
__at least vacuum overdue
X OK MAKE RESUME SO YOU CAN APPLY FOR SOME RESEARCH POSITIONS
__essay this is worth 20% of your grade please focus overdue
__study all physics lectures ever for exam coming up!!!!!!!!! overdue
__edit Rib article and write a new one ?? overdue
Due: yesterday
X vacuum using neighbor’s vacuum
X comb hair because you finally found your comb
X tell yourself you are accomplished yes good job
X good luck on physics exam lol
__ APPLY FOR THE 20 RESEARCH POSITIONS WITH DEADLINES TODAY overdue
X send in one application to a random summer internship and spend your whole day writing it
__READ THOSE 10 BOOKS FOR ESSAY DUE TOMORROW overdue
X don’t turn in the book you can only check out for 24 hours at a time even though it’s been two days
__ write essay (10 pages) (with citations) (it’s due tomorrow) (do better than that smug looking kid) overdue
Due: today
X write essay during volunteering and on the bus and on the toilet
__there’s a Rib meeting today you have written one article this semester and you should have written at least 31
X ignore mom’s texts saying that all the deadlines to apply for research have passed
X turn in essay but uh oh there are no citations and is that plagiarism am i a criminal
X stress email your adviser because now your only hope is that random summer internship and the researcher in charge has not yet replied to you even though it’s been less than a day. your adviser will forward your desperate sad email to said researcher
X finally return super fucking special book that the library charges 50 cents for every hour it’s overdue and pay $23.56 in fees
__don’t do this again
Image via Isa Lovelace.