I’m thinking about asking my professor to change my grade on my Acting final from a B to an A. I feel that I deserve more than 87 points on the project, because I put a lot of thought and hard work into giving birth. Professor Baker said, and I quote, “Sofia, your performance final about giving birth was very engaging and believable. Well done, but I must detract some points due to the fact that you were actually giving birth.”
What gives? I don’t think I should get points off for performing my truth.
I don’t mean to sound egotistical, but my screaming and spewing of liquids for a blessedly short labor time of 9 hours really felt more impactful than Johnny’s mediocre Our Town monologue. Or Krystal and Matt’s “heartfelt” rendition of that one husband/sad wife scene from The Crucible. Krystal didn’t even fake cry. I real cried so much. My peers looked exponentially more affected by my child’s birth than any other kid’s project. I saw the horror and awe in their eyes. Ricky, this cute boy in my class, said he’d never forget the moment that he saw a placenta for the first time while the sounds of my calming “Birth/Road Trip” playlist blasted over the theatre’s PA system. That’s what art should be. How could she give me a B?
TAPS 230 was supposed to be my easy class this semester, too. I was doing fairly well, but feeling unnoticed in a class full of big personalities, so I thought I’d pack a punch at the end of the year. How can I expect to achieve fame if my freshman theatre class doesn’t even know who I am? So, I decided to go through my first labor experience on the dirty (but well-lit) black box floor without any medical help, in front of all my peers, to really show my commitment to the art and my raw talent. Look where it got me – now I’m a teen mother with a tainted transcript.
You know, I really thought that doing something vulnerable, agonizing, and disgusting for my final was exactly what the theatre community here would truly appreciate. I guess I miscalculated how open-minded people really are. How can Professor Baker say that birthing my son was “something I would’ve done anyway,” and I “didn’t appear to do any work outside of class”? Not only did I work hard to prepare for birth – guys, I took a buttload of supplements – but I also had to persuade one of the techie kids to learn how to give me an epidural, too!
Yeah, as soon as I’m done lactating, I’m gonna email her.
Image via. ed.Sofia Frohna
This is fridging fantastic. Sofia, you are funnier that I could have ever guessed, and I knew you since I, myself, was born. I’m kidding. You’ve always been funny. Now you’re growing up before my very eyes and writing for the Rib at Brown. I didn’t mean for this to turn out so sentimental, but I saw no one else commented, so I decided to give the Rib “staff” some notifications and share my love. Good job on your final 😉
– ZMKF