One of the most talked about men in pop culture at the moment (second only, perhaps, to Jake Gyllenhaal) is Pete Davidson, a comedian who has notoriously dated a slew of ridiculously attractive women in recent years. As refreshing as it is to see a male celebrity attract fame for his relationships, his success in the field of romance is somewhat of a mystery/source of anguish in my life.
Why, you ask?
Simply put, he is punching far above his weight in the looks department.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, as you wag your fingers and label me a narcissist slash vain and bitter hag: ‘It’s not all about looks!’ But it is SOMEWHAT about looks, and the disparity between Davidson and his partners is particularly jarring. Every time I have the misfortune of looking at a photograph of him and Kate Beckinsale together, all I can see is a MILF being dragged around a parent teacher conference by her crusty son who is failing maths.
I do (somewhat, but not really) understand the appeal of his boyish charm BUT boyish charm should absolutely not be enough to win over Kim Kardashian. With Davidson around, the white brunettes of Hollywood are simply not safe.
So, in order to try and understand the small but mighty slice of the population who think that Davidson is not chasing women way out his league, I have made a list of possible explanations for his romantic success:
- He’s tall
So are thousands of men in America. Get a grip.
- He’s committed
Davidson and Ariana Grande got matching tattoos after two weeks of dating, so if you want to memorialise your romance in ink as soon as possible, then I guess he’s your guy? That said, his recent public relationships have been remarkably short-lived, so perhaps he’s not as committed as his body art might suggest.
- He’s funny
This one, I must admit, is one of the more convincing arguments for Davidson’s sexual prowess. However, I simply don’t think it’s enough to make up for gaping losses in other departments. Next.
- He’s rich
Again, pretty convincing, but I highly doubt that Kaia Gerber is counting pennies.
- He dresses well
In my extensive research to ensure that the contents of this article are both amusing AND informative, I’ve seen this one thrown about. However, it is undeniably false. If this is your idea of a well-dressed man, I suggest you seek help and stop shopping at Urban Outfitters.
- He’s dated hot women before
For some people, knowing that a potential partner has a solid track record is a plus. HOWEVER, when this becomes someone’s defining characteristic, it is no longer a reason to get excited. (He is ‘apparently’ a recurring cast member on SNL, but let’s be honest with ourselves here. No one watches his sketches – where, I might add, he seems to almost exclusively play himself – unless they’re wasting serious time on YouTube).
- He has a big…personality
Beckinsale has discussed Davidson’s ‘bag of mischief’ – which is either a horrible euphemism, or means that he’s just super fun! Feel free to take what you will from that soundbite, but I’m inclined to believe it’s the former (see Grande’s Twitter for more proof – or don’t, I don’t really care). But, again, thousands of men in America.
- He’s…there?
Sure, he’s a single guy in Hollywood who is apparently very into dating. Joy! But this really seems like a push.
To conclude, I must ask: shouldn’t we as women – nay, as people – demand more from our men? From the world? Let this not serve as an example for other ‘ok’ men to pursue women who are literal goddesses (looking at every man at Brown). Thank you.
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