If you find yourself stuck at home in your childhood bedroom this January, bored and contemplating everything in your life that has ever gone wrong and everything you wish you had done differently—don’t worry, you’re not alone. Not all of us have the luxury of living in New York City, Los Angeles, or even Boston this winter break. And no, I don’t have a “Winternship” so I’ve got shit else to do… other than finish that incomplete I’ve been putting off. All of these activities are things I’ve done (and still do) when I’m overthinking and understimulated during winter break. Maybe they’ll help you survive until January 22nd too:
- Walk to Target (4 hours through the woods and along train tracks rather than 15 minutes in the car)
I did this with my friends and, honestly, it felt like a huge accomplishment. We encountered animal carcasses, a couch with a bullet hole, and the ongoing fear of trespassing on private farmland—possibly getting shot if someone mistook us for deer. But, we made it. If you too want to experience true grit, skip the car and walk 4 hours to Target. It was a journey I’ll never forget.
- Do laps around your middle school track
At night, obviously. Not really for exercise, but more to revisit the place responsible for the insecurities you’re still unpacking. Walk around your old middle school track and remember the days when you had to do this in gym class. Wear a fugly grey shirt with your last name sharpied on the back for extra nostalgia points.
- Get a car wash
I’m of the belief that cars never need a wash and so paying for one is a waste of money. But there’s something so fun about the foam and getting slapped with the spinny thingys. It will get dirty again so soon but that just means another fun car wash!
- Sleep with the guy who had a crush on you in high school
You’re back in town, and so is he. Why not resolve that awkward tension that never really went anywhere? This actually turned out poorly for me and resulted in a 3-month long-distance situationship/delusionship/imaginationship and heartbreak so maybe don’t do this one.
- Create all of your college friends in the Sims and play as them
This is a great coping mechanism for when you are missing your college friends. And you can make them do whatever you want! Or you can make your enemies and put them in a pool and take the ladder away. The possibilities are endless!
- Guess Who with people from your high school
Photocopy your yearbook, grab some scissors, and make your own Guess Who board featuring people you went to high school with. You can still be a mean girl—it’s not too late.
- Go to Sonic and add Nerds to your drink
If you don’t live in Utah and have access to a Mormon sodie shop, Sonic is the next best thing. Adding nerds to your soda is surprisingly good and texturally it’s the closest thing you can get to drinking dirty lake water.
- Cow drive
Drive around and look at cows they are so cuuuutteeeee!!!!!!!!!!
- Get out your old dolls and play with them
I used to make my dolls scissor. Now I play with my dolls in a more refined manner, but the gay storylines remain.
- Cruise in the bathroom of your local mall’s Macy’s
I haven’t actually done this, but if you are a gay man, know that every men’s restroom at Macy’s is a cruising spot. Experience what life was like before Grindr. Yasss go have some fun!