CPax Retirement? Here Are The Rib’s Top Picks for Her Replacement
The question everyone is asking: Who will replace the illustrious Christina Paxson and continue her profound legacy? Here at The Rib, we have gathered a...
Stoned Tour Guide Claims 14 Stories of SciLi Represent 14 Letters of the Alphabet
On an April 20th afternoon tour that definitely should have been postponed or cancelled, senior Brown tour guide, Mary Jane, proudly proclaimed that the 14...
Faunce Arch Preacher Just Doing Rejection Therapy
As I started to walk back to my dorm after a grueling 9 a.m. class in Sayles hall, I heard one of my least favorite...
Very Hungry Caterpillar Goes on Ozempic
“I know my whole brand was about eating,” the arthropod explained in his video, “but I’m the skinniest and hottest I’ve ever been. Get fucked...
Woke Flasher Asks for Consent
I walked down Thayer street today for the first time in a while and I regret to inform you guys that there’s now a flasher...
Home Depot Launches Feminist Sister Store “Hoe Depot” to Make Hardware Stores Less Scary for Women
Power tools are out, empowerment is in...
“Listen When Others Give You Feedback,” says CoStar The Day Your Ex Calls You A Nasty Bitch
Do: Long Walks, Meditation, Forgiveness Don’t: Fight Back, Stand Up, Have Too Much Fun
Straight Woman Homophobia Getting Boring? Other Phobias You Can Adopt to Keep Things Fresh
Homophobia is everywhere these days, and so are twinks, if straight women are to be believed. If you want to be at the cutting edge...
Which One of You Bitches Sold Us Out to the White Witch for Turkish Delights
I know it was one of you bitches. It’s the only explanation. The only feasible reason for two giant snowstorms in one month is that...
Oops! Snow Plowing Budget Spent on Andrews Bento Boxes
On February 23rd, the city of Providence received a record 37.9 inches of snow. Students across campus rejoiced after learning they would receive a snow...