Thank God You Go to Brown, Because This Essay Wouldn’t Fly Anywhere Else
Brown University has always been known as the ‘weird’ Ivy, but I didn’t know we were known as the school of “freaky-ahh” sexually repressed incels....
Goldendoodles Are Causing the Recession
Health problems, ethical issues of inbreeding, and thousands of dollars all for an ugly mutt.
Student Takes Too Much Allergy Medicine, Reports Seeing CPax’s Dog Holding a Knife
He's here to inquire about your car's extended warranty.
BUT I’M A QUEERBAITER: How to Communicate Your Heterosexuality in Everyday Life
hi, dad. turns out i'm straight! but thank you for the rainbow tote bag.
Man Admires Woman for Her Tight, Wet Intellect
“Her brain just drives me crazy!” Tag a man in the comments.
SJP Reinstated on Campus
After a controversial suspension, SJP returns to Brown.
Anti-DEI Legislation Ends Gendered Spaces—So Now I’m Rushing Lantern
Recent anti-DEI legislation has mandated the end of single-gendered student groups, citing Title IX and the 2023 affirmative action case as the legal foundation. The...
Trump Administration Hits Brown with $510 Million Funding Freeze, Rib of Brown Asks: Will there still be Milkshakes at Jo’s?
In its latest episode of “who the fuck asked for this?”, the Trump administration announced that it would be freezing $510 million in federal funding...
Pickleballer More Like Pickleholla-back Girl
an exposé article?
How to Avoid Getting Lice in Your 20-Person Spring Break Airbnb
With spring break coming up, I want to remind us all of the most dangerous threat that comes with unaccompanied college students drunkenly wandering the...