The only things George Lucas and I have in common are our poor taste in men and our luscious, flowing hair. I’m here with you today to speak to the former. Anakin Skywalker: Sith Lord, ruler of the Death Star, and my first imaginary boyfriend.
Perhaps it wasn’t that original that I commandeered someone else’s intellectual property for my imaginary boyfriend, but hey, can you blame a girl? Anakin stole my heart like he stole the lives of hundreds of innocent people throughout the Star Wars series.
Anakin Skywalker, or as I like to call him, Anny, was indeed my first ever true-to-Jesus crush and subsequent imaginary BF. I guess there’s something about watching someone fall into darkness and begin a murderous rampage that is tantalizing to a 10 year old.
When his mother died, I was there at his side, talking to the TV, comforting him and saying “It’s not your fault, please don’t go on a murderous rampage!!” I guess he didn’t hear me.
But what could a young girl do but try, in vain, to save this tragic hero, from the comfort of her own living room?
There was something in the way that he sought to assert his dominance over everyone in his path that made my heart take flight. He could be quite disarming as a companion, at times (get it, because he loses his arm). Glued to the screen, I’d call out to him, asking when he was going to whisk me away to the Death Star to rule at his side.
In my dreams, we’d prance through the expansive lands of Tatooine. I’d turn him from his angsty and villainous past and
This was a pattern I’d be doomed to emulate throughout middle school, high school, and even now, after many many years. I’d find myself a man, tragically flawed in some (tantalizing) way and I’d try to make him my Anakin.
Maybe there’s a better way to approach the dating world, but I just haven’t found it yet…
George Lucas, I blame you for my problematic taste in men. Gosh darn it, why did young Darth Vader have to be so devastatingly handsome?!
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